they run ragged

why must everyone outside of this circle measure life in accomplishments? i am finding it hard to just allow myself to seep into God's love and care for me. if i could just see myself the way He sees me. i realize that i have also spent more time focusing on outside beauty than inside. if my spirit were to replace my epidermis, would it be shiny and new, or a festering blob of darkness? shouldn't we all be trying to improve our inner selves? if only to make our small circles better-and then maybe we move into larger and larger circles until we shape the whole earth. and what of those who don't believe in any real depth of the human being other than flesh and soul, and no supreme being? why make life miserable by living any kind of way? if your way, than why not the mere act of living in love? do they fear that openness equates lack of a defensive shield to the dangers of hurt and rejection? an angered heart can still draw those same dangers. but perfect love casts out all fear. and when a heart comes through, so does resilience and a stronger, deeper love. our poor hearts and our poor souls and our poor spirits...if they are not kept they run ragged through life, tearing apart at every twist and turn til there is nothing left. which is why i entrust mine to the One who created me. i still stand amazed at how, when i am faced with an insurmountable obstacle, i have peace because He is with me.

the girl with the grey hat and the white chucks

i think that you are amazing, and beautiful and smart. i think you are witty, and funny and clever. you are too hard on yourself. the world is open, and you are walking around with your heart closed. sure you don't have to let everything in, but a bit of love and hope and even heartache makes you a better person. you are still very young, if not in years, then in spirit. open your arms and embrace what lies ahead, the ups and downs. the insecurities, the uncertainties, and the joys. you are a marvelous creature, created with all the cosmic wonder of the universe thriving in your bones. how dare you stifle it! no more sitting and waiting. run.

don't give up on her

there is such a thing as being too nice. i have most often been the nice girl. i like the fulfillment i sense when helping someone out. i've tried not caring about anyone else in the world, and it seems to hinder me more than help me. that whole verse, in order to make friends you must first make yourself friendly. i know she needs me right now. my sister can't understand why, after time and time again of her mistreating me, i would still try and help her out. i am trying to find the best way to show her God's love. God never gives up on us! He never says, "Well, you've made SO MANY mistakes against me. You've messed up a million times. I don't want you anymore." He never cuts us off from His love. so why should i cut her off? she doesn't know what a good friend is, and i will continue to do my best to try and show her.

ti also argues that you teach people how to treat you, which is also SO true. if people push you around, and you don't stand up for yourself, they'll keep pushing. knock you down. you have to have respect for yourself enough to stop people from mistreating you. i think i need to find a healthy balance between allowing loving someone and showing them i care, with out exposing too much that they give me a low blow.