i have been so, so, so selfish. this weekend i got really upset because i felt i wasn't garnering enough attention, or the attention i felt i deserved. i got mad and depressed and went and grabbed some cigarettes. why did i punish myself? three down and i'm already done with them. this happens every year, i get mad with the way things are going and i run to...of all things...cigarettes? and not a large sum either. just two or three and i'm done...for the whole year! i think it's because i realize how abundantly stupid i am for trying to punish myself. that life, when broken down, isn't really all that awful. that God's creation is sheer, yet lofty, and gloriously beautiful. and how honored i am to be here at all, and know Him. i want to be so close to Him. i want to just melt into His love. i am the only thing holding His blessings back. i am currently cultivating a hunger for His Word. in the morning, i want to read and read and read. His Word is life. i just need to steady these eyes of mine to see the pages. and steady these thoughts of mine to know His ways.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
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"Where is that grace that carries me out? So strange it’s mine. It’s closed and locked but If you open that door"
His word is so important..
"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God." John 1:1
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