a healthy reverance

10 glorious pounds in the span of about 3 weeks? yes, i have given into the weight-loss craze. i wish i could say i am not at all concerned by my outward appearance, but i am! not to the extreme though. i think it's a healthy reverence. i have to stay healthy.

recent contributing factors have been-a friend in the summer who had an eating disorder. i never realized how mental eating disorders are. you literally have to psyche your mind out of thinking that you're hungry, or that you are already thin. i guess i never realized the severity of it until i was near to it. there have been a few times for me. in middle school i would get so nervous that i just wouldn't eat at all during lunch. but then going off to college, i got the biggest i've ever been. i was also hanging around a lot of overweight girls. i remember how awful our eating habits were. i just loved eating food because i hated what was around me. the time i had drastic weight lost was when i went through a really hard time at that school. i had to stand up for something i believed in, and was pretty much shunned from the school's community. i remember the week it happened was right before thanksgiving. i was so hurt i didn't eat anything. i lost 20 pounds in 2 weeks! sounds scary, but i just remember all this emotional weight hanging on to me. maybe i cried it out? oh well it's over and done with and i am actually a better person because of it.

i'd say there are three things that drive my weight-loss obsession: third reason-my older sister has always been tinier than me. whenever i begin to start up a workout routine, she suddenly becomes health conscious. she does not want me to be smaller than her. she is one of my biggest competitors and one day i will beat her! in second place-well, there's unnecessary junk in my trunk. i just want to be fit enough to where nothing jingles up and down 10 inches in the air! and in first place-the real reason why all of this silly obsessiveness would be for...is...a boy, who is fit, and for a girl who feels that if she requires a certain something(s) in the opposite sex, than she herself should have those things in order as well. you know all that who can cast the first stone type stuff.